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My short story, Diversions, is up on Oysters and Chocolate today. The story stars one of the characters from my upcoming novel, Rhythm of Love which is coming out next weekend. Check it out and tell me what you think:



We've all been left behind by someone haven't we? Maybe that's what instigates that desire to roam whenever we feel trapped. My mother always used to threaten me with leaving. When I finally left for college I was thrilled, because I was escaping the environment I'd grown to feel trapped in. But she cried and cried because I was "leaving her". I thought she was being dramatic, since I wasn't going that far and I'd come to visit but I also thought that it was ironic that she had always threatened me with leaving me and here she was crying because I was leaving her. I always feel the apathy kicking in the minute people mention leaving. Maybe the threat is meant to get you to behave. If you're not good enough, they'll go somewhere better, to someone better. But it can also backfire because the person who's taunting you can be the one whose left behind.

what makes you untouchable?

Having very little money, you think being rich will make you untouchable. You wont owe anyone money, you wont need favors, you can outsource tedious tasks, and you don't have to answer to anyone. But to a rich person who is always being watched by their fellow socialites, who has a family with strict expectations, a poor man seems untouchable, unwatched by high society. This is why I loved The Prince and the Pauper so much when I was younger along with that part in Aladdin where him and Jasmine both say they feel trapped in unison and meet each others eyes. I loved that both stories were telling ne that everyone has to deal with these feelings of being trapped and judged, no matter who they are, no matter where. It made my reality less stifling.


It is very common for us as humans to want things here and now. Whether its a dream job, a relationship, a car, or an apartment, we sometimes crave to have it for ourselves immediately. What we dont understand is that many things are like food. It is better to let them ripen and cook at the right temperature so when we do have them, we get them at their best and tastiest. If you dont cook something long enough it wont taste good, it might make you sick, and if you eat it too soon you'll get burned. Similarly we may burn ourselves if we rush to get the things we want in our lives. Of course when the opportunity comes you should seize it, just have patience until the moment arrives.

All you need

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley
I'm just too intense. This is why I love so many people, why I have so many friends instead of one best friend like many other girls. I am too intense for one person to handle. the few times i relied on one friend too heavily it was disastrous. so i figured me out.

Crumbling inside

A performer is very good at what they do when they keep a smile on their face but they are crumbling inside. We're all perfomers to some extent aren't we? I had a friend who was never happy. She would be for some time then she would grow unhappy and want more. She drove me crazy. Today It sunk in why she never felt complete. She was so obsessed with being liked that she began each relationship, each endeavor with a performance but she'd get tired of her performance and unhappiness would set in. She never lesrned to just be by herself and not have to put on an act for somebody.
I've always been enthralled by my lovers. I could never get enough of them and always wanted to know their deepest darkest secrets. That's why its especially painful when they just don't care to know about the inner workings of my mind. Today I had one of those painful moments. I tried to open up to my man about this insane childhood fear and he just brushed me off, saying he didn't want to talk about unpleasant things. I'm not sure if it's just a guy thing but it sure hurts. I get that some people are in relationships because they just want to be able to do the fun things and make love to a person they're attracted to both emotionally and physically and that's it for them. They don't care about the soul searching but sometimes it feels incredibly lonely to be with someone that doesn't have that interest.

Never spend money on rent again

More than once I've seen posts on the forums I frequent about families in distress about families for their living situation. Whether its mortgage or rent, the cost of shelter is a nasty hemorrhage to our bank accounts. Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to pay rent again? How about if we could even profit from our homes? Well for 9.99 ... Just kidding I'll tell you how for free right now. My entry was just starting to sound like an infomercial so I had to make a mockery of it. I've compiled a list of all the things my fellow starving writers do to save on rent and don't worry, none of them involve being trophy wives or leeching off of others. Some apply to homes and others to apartments.

1. If you have a big space whether its outdoor or indoor rent it out for parties. It will involve some cleaning and redecorating but with a little creativity you can get started.
2. Is there an empty garage or extra spot on the driveway? If so you can rent it out as a parking space. Depending on where you live you can charge between 100-400 a month.
3. Even if you live in a small apartment you can host art gallery parties. The window of time for the party can be long so people can come in and out without crowding the place and the art wont take up too much room on your walls. Its up to you whether you want to charge artists a fee or take a percentage of the final offer. You'll be more likely to get customers if you live in a prime location but if you are very social and have the ability to attract a large crowd that could be good enough.
4. Tourists are always looking for a place to stay. Rent an extra room or your own if you don't mind sleeping on the couch. You'll need to clean the apartment, have clean towels and sheets and be friendly. If you want to make even more money you can stay at a friend's or family members house to host large families in your apartment. Some good websites to post your apartment on are craigslist and airbnb.
5. Redecorate and rent out your home for photo/video shoots. If you are willing to invest in a backdrop you'll make your money back. There is also plenty of free materials in the free section of craigslist to get you started.
6. Rent a basement out as a rehearsal space. Performers are always looking for a place to perform, put your basement to good use by offering neighborhood artists a good space to work together in.

Being Disliked

In the neighborhood I grew up in, I was never liked by other moms as a child. It's funny because if I had been in a different area, I probably would have been considered a really nice girl. But here I was the black sheep. I wonder about this now, what it was they didn't like about me. I think they sort of sensed I had a little darkness to me. I was a little troubled but it wasn't my fault, I was the product of an emotionally abusive control freak. So a little darkness, a little troubled, a little rebellious spirit. Hate me if you will. I made a lot of mistakes when I finally started dating because instead of rolling with the good kids, who would have been a healthy influence, I was attracted to guys who had a little of that darkness too. A little light, a little dark, that's balanced. But semi-darkness and semi-darkness are not a good combination. I loosened up, I got wild, I made impulsive decisions and allowed guys to use me. Of course now I'm stronger, I've learned that because of it I'm less judgmental than I might have been, had I stayed prim and proper. Who knows, those friends might seem perfect but they might have their dark secrets to. They're just not as open about it, which makes them more likeable.